Prayer When Life Has Become Routine

This is a prayer I have had forever and I just love what it has to say.  On hard days it has always helped.  I hope it helps you, too.  It is by Paul Geres from the book “Prayers For Impossible Days.”

Lord, when I woke up this morning, I said to myself that this would be a day just like every other day.

And it was.

I took the same subway as every morning, I read the same comments in the paper on an international situation which never changes.

I went up the same staircase as usual, and on my desk I found the same piles of papers to go through – papers which have been exaxtly the same for almost ten years.

The janitor was the same and so was the personnel director.  They looked like they usually do; they had that blank expression which says that nothing new is going to happen today.

For lunch I had the same old thing to eat.  It was Monday.  I went back to my desk until five o’clock.  And I just came home knowing full well that tomorrow it will start all over again.

God, I’m tired of it all.

I had hoped for something completely different.  I had dreamed that someday I would lead an active and exciting life.  That was a dream.  Yet it can be painful to wake up from a dream.

I’ll never be anything but what I am.

I know that some people would be happy in my situation.  True.  But that doesn’t help my fatigue and boredom.

Lord, let me talk to you tonight about my fatigue, about my desire to get away from here.  To whom can I speak about this, if not to you?

Nobody understands.  They say: “What is he complaining about?”  And perhaps they are right.  It’s only normal that you do your job.

Therefore I shall talk about it only with you.

Don’t change anything.  My life doesn’t have to change.  I must change.

Lord, help me to think less about myself.

Help me to see that there are other people besides myself.  For whom today is just like every other day.

It is a great example of learning to get over yourself and think about others.  It is about making things better by adjusting your thinking instead of jumping jobs, houses or life partners just because you are bored. 

But most of all it is taking your discouragement to the Lord and letting him whisper to you what needs to change.

Personalizing my new home

I have a new home…well, an office…O.K, it’s a cubicle.  But it’s not just any cubicle, it’s MY cubicle at my wonderful new job. 

 I think this job is perfect for me.  I’m in Marketing, which is all about coming up with ideas to sell the brands that are assigned to me.  I have to also take products and come up with new ways to sell the same things I’m already selling.  It’s about freshness and newness and requires creativity.

 Here’s the problem.  I’m very visual, and cubicles are very…well…square.  Gray.  Impersonal.  Boring.

 So I am on a one-woman campaign to change that!  It involves shopping, which is once again one of my favorite things to do…yea!

 The first thing I did was tack up a bunch of things to make it useful like phone listings and instructions.  Then a calendar.  Of course the absolutely necessary photos of my children were a priority!

 I have also gone to a favorite new store called Trends and Traditions in town and picked up some adorable things:  a pretty painted canvas with a motivational saying…a huge chick-art mousepad about chocolate…fun magnets for the fronts of my metal (gray) shelves. 

 I’m home!

 Today’s purchase made me laugh out loud at the store.  I almost didn’t buy it because I didn’t want to show my true colors so new to the job (J), but I think anything that can make you laugh like that needs to be around to inspire me!  It is an adorable collaged piece that says “deadlines amuse me.”  Ha!  I’m going to take a photo of it to post with this article, because I think it will make you smile, too!

 Don’t settle for mediocre surroundings.  Even if it’s just attractive ads from magazines, liven up your space!  Bring something that makes you smile!

 And add a small bowl of chocolate to your desk.  We can all use a little more of that.

My Cup Runneth Over!

Where to begin?

I haven’t written much lately because there has been SO much going on.  I had written about the Lord providing in one of my last posts…well He’s been actually showing off (a friend’s term I just love!) in my life lately.

I got a full-time job. Not just any full-time job.  A great full-time job.  A career.  A chance to mingle my education with my experience.  A salary!  Benefits!  A great company!  Work, yes, but in Marketing, which is what I have wanted to do!  I start the day after tomorrow.  What this means to my family is unable to be expressed.  I can finally pull my own wagon.  I can provide for my children and myself.  It’s a recession, for goodness sake! My cup runneth over. 

Then, a friend bought me a vehicle.  Yes, you heard that right.  Her and her husband GAVE me a wonderful vehicle in pristine condition and I am still giddy with the blessing.  Just in time for us when I needed to start a new job and wouldn’t have a way to pick my kids up from school.  Now my daughter can help with driving her and her brother to school.  She got a part-time job also, and it was going to be a real issue with only 1 vehicle.

There goes God showing off again…my cup runneth over!

Lessons Learned…

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you,

and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? 

Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you,

and disputed passage with you?

-Walt Whitman

The Lord Will Provide…and provide…and provide…

The words “since my divorce” have been used many times in my blog.  My whole life was defined by this event and it had significance in many arenas, but nowhere has it’s significance been as strong as in the area of my faith.  Since divorce has never felt like the Christian option to me, I had a hard time initially believing that God could approve and bless my divorced status.  I felt like I had somehow failed when the marriage wasn’t able to be fixed.  Surely if I had done something more…something better…prayed harder…

But a couple of weeks after my separation, I was talking to God and in my still-shocked state I accused Him, saying “You promised me that with enough faith, all things were possible!  You promised me a hope and a future!”   I believed that these things meant that He would save my marriage.  This day, however, God spoke back to me, telling me that He intended those things for ME.  All of a sudden I understood that those verses that I had claimed were all true…just not in the way I had thought them to mean.  He has promised me a hope and a future…just not one with my X. 

The Lord has provided.  Has he ever provided!  Just when I was sure I couldn’t take anymore.  Just when the wallet got down to the last dollar.  Just when anxiety would threaten to overtake me.  He blessed me with wonderful friends and family, he blessed me with monetary provision, he blessed me with Himself and His promises.

I am approaching 3 years since my husband left.  Yesterday a friend called to offer to pay for my computer to be fixed. (darned viruses!)  Another friend called today for the same thing…I have people fighting to help me with my problems!  Yesterday I also received a receipt in the mail that someone had paid several hundred dollars on an outstanding bill…anonymously.  Another day last week a restaurant gift card arrived.  A gallery sold an amazing amount of my jewelry.  The phone calls kept coming… amazing provision…yet again…still!

I am in a time of need in my life, and God worked through all these wonderful people to provide for myself and my family.  He promised, and He provides.

The Woman I Want To Be…

Ever since I first saw this piece of fabric art collage by Laurie Ceesay at The Old Church Gallery, I have been drawn to it.  Laurie’s artwork is fantastic and I love her vibrant use of color.  She has recently started her own blog called Artsy Chick Quilts….check it out!

Laurie is an artist from Menominee, Michigan (where I live)  but she has submitted pieces nationally and gained recognition for her work.  One of her pieces was published in Quilting Arts Magazine in the April/May 2009 issue as a winner of their Rock On! Reader Challenge.  Her quilt featured Tina Turner and it really impressed the judges…and me!

Laurie began doing her art quilts several years ago after growing bored doing traditional quilting.  She likes to feature women in her work, specializing in faces.  This fits right in with Laurie’s other passion – she is a hairdresser and loves hairstyles, makeup and fashion!

The woman Laurie depicts in this piece is no doormat – she’s vibrant and she’s fantastic.  She is who I want to be!

“Fresh Picked Flowers” is coming home with me.  I just know we’ll be very happy together!

Life on the Hamster Wheel…

 

Tonight my good friend Renee came over for hours of (nearly) uninterrupted gab time.  She is a fabulous woman who sponsors children all over the world through Compassion International and has actually visited many of them in places such as Uganda, Rwanda, Thailand, the Domican Republic, and is always planning her next trip.  She is so focused on the needs of these people, and she was wondering how so many people could be so oblivious to the needs of people in these countries just because they did not see it.

Granted, my life is pretty tame compared to hers, and I certainly know that there are many who just don’t waste time thinking about it if it doesn’t directly affect them.  My example, however, was that for me at this time in my life, I am on a hamster wheel, constantly spinning, spinning, and even though I know there are things outside that wheel, I don’t feel able to take my eyes off of straight ahead for fear I’ll trip up and things will come to a grinding halt.  While keeping the wheel spinning is important, it is also important for me and for my children that I look beyond my narrow scope of things on occasion.

Renee was showing me the website for Another Hope orphanage in Uganda.  Ruth, the founder and director of Another Hope, is coming to visit in September to try to bring attention to her mission.  Her children make and sell jewelry, bags and hats from old magazines and recycled paper and sell them to make money for necessities.  This touched my heart, and I saw a way that I could possibly help.  I intend to reach beyond my hamster wheel and purchase beads from Ruth that I can make into some of my designs.  In addition to helping when I purchase their beads, I can also donate the proceeds from my sales to help the orphanage. 

While I can’t always take my eyes off of my wheel, I can let my heart hear what others are saying, and I can try to make a difference.

The Old Church Gallery…

Once in awhile I get to have the pleasure of working at the Old Church Gallery in Cedar River, Michigan.  I love this gallery!  Last weekend was one of those rare occasions and I had an awesome, inspiring day there. The ladies who own it – Carlyn Lynch and Cindy Schmidt – are two of the sweetest ladies ever. 

These two women converted an old, unused church into an art gallery in a somewhat remote location and have turned it into a must-stop place on Hwy. M-35 between Escanaba and Menominee, Michigan.  It is primarily filled with art from local and regional artists.  There are so many talented artists represented here!

When I first met the ladies of the Old Church Gallery, I was newly divorced and lacking self-confidence.  My friend Karen encouraged (nagged) me into approaching them with my jewelry designs. I was so nervous!  But the ladies were fabulous and we have had a wonderful working relationship ever since.  Karen and I have done an artist-in-residence day,and this fall we are teaching classes.  It has been such a great relationship for me, and I know Karen feels the same.

During my hours there, my brain flooded with ideas!  I kept jotting things down in my notebook, barely able to keep up!  Creativity spurs creativity in me, and this place is SO inspiring!

If you’re ever in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, make it a point to stop in to see the ladies and their wonderful gallery.  You won’t be sorry!

The Security Myth…

No one needs to tell us these are tough times.  The economy is in a deep slump.  I have the distinction of graduating from college (at 46) during this fabulous economic time.  Jobs are nearly impossible to come by, especially in my small town.  I have promised my daughter to do everything in my power to stay here until she graduates in 2011.  That’s proving difficult.

I’ve been praying a lot lately for God’s provision.  I keep asking for a job.  Instead, good things keep happening with my jewelry business.  I have picked up a new gallery, and things seem to be going well there.  I was contacted by an old friend who wants to shop my animal lovers line around in his far-away state.  Things are good, which has me wondering…is this what God wants me to do?

I have a problem in the area of security. I was married for 17 years and was very secure in the fact I was going to grow old with this person.  So much for security.  I have listened and watched as the economy has shrunk retirement accounts down to nothing.  What is security, exactly?

I have been wanting a steady, secure job.  No surprises, no upheavals, no uncertainty.  But is there such a thing?  Day after day people are getting downsized, laid off and let go.  So why do I still think a full-time job is secure? 

I need to have more confidence in myself than I do in some unknown employer.  I need to trust my abilities to make a living for myself and my children.  Maybe God is telling me to trust myself and to use this opportunity to take my jewelry business to the next level.   A sure thing?  No, but then again, is there such a thing?

If this is what God has in store for me, I need to trust His leading and trust myself.

My Van – the myth and the legend

My van is a 1995 Dodge Astro van.  It turned over 200,000 miles recently, and I live in dread of anything happening to it.  It is big, brown and boxy…but it’s paid for!

I need this van to go a lot further.  I break out in a sweat at the thought that it will die one day.  I have nurtured and sweet-talked this van continuously for years now.  There’s even a shiny spot on the (otherwise dusty) dashboard where I have worn it smooth from rubbing it in appreciation!

The mileage sucks, it’s true, but you can’t beat having no payments and having cheap insurance!  My van can haul anyone or anything.  It runs.  It starts even in our brutal Michigan winters.  It doesn’t even have a cushy garage to rest itself – it has to brave the elements.

I don’t know if it’s scriptural or not to pray for a motor vehicle, but I do for this one.  I think God understands.