Different Blessings…

Dear God,

This is hard.  It’s hard to be so much in need all the time.  It’s hard to see others with so much and have to continually battle envy.  It’s hard not to resent the “haves” and not cry about being a “have not.”

But then I stop.

I’m not a “have not,” I’m a “have less” with different blessings.  I have 2 children I love and who love me.  I have many REAL friends.  I have a great family, and I have had your presence to sustain me, Lord.

Help me to want less, Lord.

Help me to envy less and thank you more.

Help me to worry less about what I “have not” and be truly grateful for what I have.

Amen…

 

My Baby is 18!!

My Baby Is 18!!

I can’t believe it’s here…my darling daughter is 18 today.  18!!! 

There are so many things I haven’t taught her yet…so many failures on my part to teach her what she needs to know before she goes out into the world.  Table manners?  Check.  Wait an hour after eating before swimming?  Check. 

But she still doesn’t know how to budget or balance a checkbook…

 Can I get more time, Lord?? I’m not finished yet!

Back to the Garden…

I thought I had lost it forever. 

When I had to leave my home during my divorce, I left behind extensive gardens that I had been working on for more than 10 years.  Gardening was my passion, my creative outlet, my therapy. 

Then I had to leave it, and it was devastating.  I left that house in December, so in Wisconsin that means it wasn’t able to be dug up, and I was moving into a rental, anyway.  I felt the loss of my gardens keenly, and it hurt so much I stopped looking at gardens and landscaping, magazines and catalogs – all of it.  I thought the passion had died.

Last year my Dad tilled up the space between the two porches of my duplex.  I got a few plants “gifted” from friends gardens, and it made me happy.

This year?  The plants have  already been dug up and moved  around; I’ve bought new ones, divided some, potted several pots and baskets and am frustrated that I don’t have room for more!

It’s back.  The passion for gardening is flowing back through me and making me happy again.  It hadn’t died, it had just been pushed down while I dealt with all my other losses.  Now I know there will be other gardens in my life and that love will always be there when you are ready for it to blossom again.

Photo

Creating the Life I Want…

 

OK, no more excuses.

It’s time.

I’ve been planning this forever.

I’ve used too many excuses to delay starting.

“Someday” is here.

It has to happen.

I’m scared.

I’m excited.

I’m creating the life I want.

I’m going to become the person

I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I’m going to design a life for myself.

It’s time.

Roots and Wings…

My daughter graduated from high school last weekend.  We had her graduation party the day after, so I haven’t been blogging due to intense stress and exhaustion! There was excitement, but it was also bittersweet for me – it was a letting go…my little girl is grown up.  She turns 18 in a couple of weeks and then we have her college orientation a day after.  I’m not ready to let go yet!

My mother used to tell me that the two greatest things we can give our children is roots and wings.  Roots to a family bond that keeps them grounded when they are away, and wings so that they can fly off and fulfill their own lifes purpose.  I have tried to give my children deep and strong roots.  The wings part?  Well, we shall soon see.