You Can’t Suck In Back Fat

That quote is from my friend Jackie.  I laughed so hard when she said it last week, then I had to write it down so I didn’t forget it.  It is so profound I can hardly stand it!

I have realized recently more than ever how my weight dictates my enjoyment of life.  I think sometimes of all the things I am not doing and will not do “until I lose weight.”  My life is on perpetual hold until that magic day when I wake up thin (I wish!).   I am constantly promising myself I will get a handle on things – tomorrow.  I will get on my bike – tomorrow.  I will eat better food and less of the bad stuff – tomorrow.  Then, because those tomorrows never come, my dreams for myself and my life are also never happening.  Staying overweight is keeping my life on hold and I need to understand how cowardly that is. 

I am afraid of living and hoping and trying and failing so I keep the weight on. I hate admitting that, but it’s the cold, hard truth.

So, I can’t blame anyone or anything for what I do or don’t do in life anymore.  I either have to adjust those dreams and accept myself at the size I’m at or I need to do something about it.  I don’t aspire to be the weight I was at 20, but I can be better than I am now. 

I have decided that I am more afraid of wasting (waisting?) my life being overweight than I am of actually doing the work of losing weight.

So here I go.  Wish me luck.

Friends Forever

My kids and I have a family that are among our very best friends.  They used to live in our town and go to the same church as us, but several years ago they moved far, far away.  Now we see them approximately once a year when they visit.  Did I mention they live far away?? 

They are in town this week and we got to see them tonight.  It is always bittersweet because the visits go too quickly and there is so much time in-between them.  But my kids and I are always so blessed by the way it always seems like not a day has passed when we get together – no awkwardness, no hesitations…just right back to that special closeness that is the symbol of true friendship.  We are blessed to have it in our lives no matter how much distance separates us physically.  We know somewhere out there is someone who will always be our friend.

It’s All in the Punctuation

My friend Karen and I were talking the other day about my lack of motivation to go to work that day.  She recounted an episode of The Mary Tyler Moore show from years ago where Mary was having the same difficulty.  Mary was talking to Ted and saying, “You get up in the morning.  You shower.  You put on your makeup.  You have your breakfast.  You go to work. It just happens day after day.”  Ted told her she had to look at it differently.  He said “You get up in the morning!  You shower!  You put on your makeup! You have your breakfast! You go to work!”  This is just the jist of the conversation as Karen remembered it, but it really got me thinking.  The key to the whole thing is really in the punctuation.

Our attitudes about what we do are the difference between it being a joy or a chore.  I can choose to complain about going to work, or I can be happy I have a job.  I can be upset with how little money is in my checkbook, or I can be happy I have a roof over my head and food on the table. 

I remember years back when a man from our church went to India.  When he came back and spoke to the church, he was almost too overwhelmed to describe what he saw.  One thing he said made a huge impact on me.  He said, “We have no idea how rich we are.” 

I have stood at times since then in front of my pantry and thought how someone from underdeveloped nations would see it – they would not be able to imagine such riches.  They would think I was rich just to have so much food to choose from each day.

So tomorrow morning and all the mornings after I am going to try to be like Ted Baxter.  I am going to get out of bed!  I’m going to shower!  I’m going to choose something from my rich pantry and eat breakfast!  I’m going to put on my makeup!  And I’m going to go to the job I am grateful to have!

It’s all in the punctuation.

A Child’s Gift…Remastered

A client of mine recently contacted me to do a piece for her.  She had a bracelet made by her child on a piece of black string.  It had 7 brightly colored beads on it. The bracelet was her pride and joy.  But she was concerned about longevity.  She wanted to make it a strong piece of jewelry she could wear every day and keep for posterity and did I have any ideas?

The main thing for her and for me was keeping it as close to the original design as possible.  I strung black seed beads and then 4mm onyx beads between the original colored wood beads to hold them in place.  I used pewter letter beads to spell out “MOM” in between and finished it off with a toggle closure. The 2009 charm will be a reminder of when her son gave her the bracelet.

I really admired her desire to keep the bracelet as close to the original as possible.  She could have added and changed the design to make it more fashionable.  She could have put it away in a drawer and never worn it.  Instead she thought of a way to preserve both the memory of the gift and the original design.  I believe this client and I created something she will be able to treasure for years to come.

What do you think?

Easy Summer Salad Recipe

I was just putting together the easiest salad recipe I know for my friend Karen’s daughter’s bridal shower, and I thought maybe others would like to have this little gem of a recipe.  It’s always really well-received and I like it because you can throw it together last minute and go.  It’s one my mom used to make and I don’t know the real name, but she gave me some approximations of the amounts she uses years back, and mostly I stick close to them.

Mom’s Favorite Pea Salad

1 lg. pkg, frozen peas

1 cup chopped cheddar cheese

1 cup Spanish salted peanuts

1/4 to 1/2 cup chopped celery

chopped onion

Pour all ingredients in a bowl and add enough Miracle Whip to hold the whole thing together and you’re done!  It can be made quickly before a shower and the peas will thaw pretty quickly.  People always love it and the colors look attractive on the table. 

Enjoy!

Breathe

I’ve been running around this week like a maniac.  Work, soccer, post office, grocery store, home, back to somewhere else and it just never ended.  This is from Leo Babauta at Zen Habits and I wanted to pass it on to all of us who forget to do this regularly:

Breathe.

Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.

If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

Tip: Put the word “Breathe” as a screensaver or desktop pic, or put it up as a note on your wall or fridge or on your desk. Then do it every time you see the word.

A Born Entrepreneur

I don’t know if anyone else has been an entrepreneur most of  their life.  From my earliest memories I was selling homemade potholders door-to-door that I made on a loom at home.  I made and sold pom-pom animals around the block.  I had lemonade and Kool-Aid stands.  I even sold my drawings door-to-door.  If I could make something, I figured I could sell it.

This is a habit I have continued to the current day.  I don’t seem to be able to have hobbies.  Everything I do seems to turn into a business somehow.  Things I enjoy become something I try to sell. 

Is it just that I am a born entrepreneur?  Am I just driven?  Am I obsessed with trying to make money?  And if I am, why aren’t i rich??!! 

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t start doing most of these things just to make money.  I usually fall in love doing something and that morphs into trying to sell it or make a business out of it.  Why can’t I just enjoy something without turning it into a job?  Why does my brain always think of new marketing ideas and unexplored niches?

I will be indebted to my childhood neighbors for the many, many homemade items that they bought and childhood businesses they helped to support.   To this day I buy from every kid that comes to the door as payback!   I am indebted to God for giving me a multitude of skills and a passion for creating, and I am so happy to be able to contribute to my family’s income by creating things that people still seem to want to buy.

But sometimes I wish he had given me the ability to just relax!

Time to Move On…

 

“It’s time to move on.”

It’s one of those phrases that everyone uses, but it’s also one that frustrates me lately, because it doesn’t come with any clue how to really do that. Physically move away? Check. Get on with your life? Check. Don’t talk to the person? Check. Not think about them? That’s easier said than done.

Thoughts crop up all the time. Even a trip to the grocery store can become a trip down memory lane. A song on the radio can bring on an emotional reaction and transport me to another time. Hurt and pain jump out at me unexpectedly from the most random places.

Move on.  It’s Time To Move On.  TIME TO MOVE ON.

How?

 

Conflicting Thoughts on Father’s Day

I have a great Dad.  I admire and respect my father.  Not only was he a present and respected influence in my life, but he loves my children and is the same type of influence in their lives.  I am so thankful for him.  He is and has always been a softie with my daughter, especially, because she was his first grandchild.  They have a connection even I never had with him, which makes me feel so blessed. 

Today was Father’s Day.  In dramatic contrast to my own Father, my children’s Father never called them to set up his court-ordered right to have visitation today.  I had asked my kids if they wanted me to remind him of it this week, but neither child wanted me to.  They didn’t want to see him unless he requested it…He didn’t.  While this broke my heart, I still had a talk with my kids about respect.  Even though their father doesn’t always behave in a way that earns respect, he is still their father and because of that deserves positional respect. 

My daughter texted him after church to wish him a Happy Father’s Day.  He texted back a photo of his niece sticking out her tongue at her.  When my daughter questioned him, the conversation deteriorated into an admission by him that he had been ”testing” my kids by not calling them, and had been waiting to see if they would contact him to ask to spend the day with him, which they didn’t do.  He got very snotty with her and basically called her disrespectful.  Since his visitation rights always include Father’s Day, they waited to be told what the plans were from him.  When they didn’t hear from him, they assumed he had other plans (he does have a new girlfriend and has given up visitation time recently).  So, instead, they got dressed down by their father and made to feel lousy. 

Even though I know we did the right thing in telling him Happy Father’s Day, the whole thing put a pall over our day.  My daughter told me she wishes she had my dad.  My son wants a father figure he can respect so badly.  While I know things could be so much worse, the disappointment we all feel hurts.  I hurt for the kids, who miss out on having a dad who really wants to be in their lives and wants to set a good example. 

There are so many great dads out there.  There are lots of good dads, and dads who know they should be better.  There are deadbeat, abusive and absentee fathers.  Regardless of what my X is, he still contributed to the creation of my children, and I am thankful for that.  He pays child support (most of the time) and doesn’t hit my kids.  So I am thankful.  He gave me full physical custody in the divorce, realizing it was the best thing for all of us.  So I am blessed by that and thank God for the fact daily. 

I will never understand bad parents.  I am grateful to God for making me a parent.  I am not saying I am perfect, by any means, but I try each and every day to be a good parent.  I am trying so hard to let go of the bitterness in the situation with my X, and most of the time I can, until days like today happen. 

I do know, however, that my children will be better parents for seeing some examples of parenting that is lacking.  We’ve talked about it, and I pray they can apply these hurts as learning lessons in their own lives. 

Paternity happens.  Fatherhood is a position that can include the good or the bad.  Being a Dad is a special position that the good ones achieve, and I’m thankful I have a great Dad.  Thanks, Dad…I love you and I’m glad my kids have you in their lives.

The Beginnings of Our Youth Art Ministry

We got a new Youth Pastor nearly 5 years ago at our church – Faith Baptist Church in Peshtigo, WI.  I was trying to find a way to be a part of the youth ministry, but I wasn’t sure how I could fit in.  I’d tried being a Sunday School teacher, but I didn’t think that was one of my “gifts.” I met with Pastor Tim Harwell to talk about it.  He had some suggestions, but I wasn’t sure where God was leading me.  I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

As I left the church parking lot, a full-blown idea hit me – a Youth Art Ministry!  THIS I could do.  THIS was in my comfort zone and something I would be passionate about.  I immediately called my good friend (and art buddy) Karen and ran it by her.  She was as excited as I was, and we were so happy that Tim was excited by the idea, too.

Karen and I try to stress the fun side of art – the non-tradional, non-judgmental side of creating.  We stress that there are no mistakes, and we really encourage kids taking the projects off on entirely different tangents.  Pastor Tim usually shows up and does his best to attempt one of the projects.  He has glued gummy worms to acrylic paintings and other somewhat questionable projects, but recently we melted record albums and decorated them, and Tim’s was awesome!  He used Duct Tape and made a great bowl – see the above photo and judge for yourself!

I am grateful for his willingness to let us indulge our crazy art urges by creating this ministry.  When we have a YAM Jam, we play music and have snacks, and urge kids to use their creative side as a way to express themselves.  I feel priveledged that I might be part of facilitating a new generation of crazy creators!