Learning to Let Go…

When you were 4 days old I went to the grocery store for the first time since you were born…it felt like I had left my arm behind.  You were a part of me.  I cried the whole time.

When you were 5 years old I put you on a school bus on the first day of kindergarten.  I smiled to cover my anxiety and sadness.  I followed the bus and watched you get off and go into the school.  I cried all day and didn’t stop until you got off the bus at the end of the day.

When you were 13 I had to let you go every other weekend.  I had to give you up for half of every holiday… and I died a little inside every time.  It never got easier, and I cried a lot. 

Today I moved you into your college dorm.  I helped you unpack and feather your new nest.  I am so excited for you, and I tried so hard to ease your fears, while pushing down my own. 

It seems like yesterday you were that newborn that I couldn’t bear to leave.  Today I drove away with an aching heart…sadness, pride, joyousness and thankfulness all fighting within me…

…while I cried.

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