Process Your Deep Emotional Pain With Someone Else

Here’s how it works.  You are in deep emotional pain, you are not capable of rational thinking, you feel like you’re going to die and be swallowed whole, you honestly can’t come up with a good reason to continue living, for all practical purposes you feel like there is nothing real beyond the pain except more of it. Okay, you need to tell someone all this. Preferably someone who realizes that all of this is normal for someone in deep emotional pain.  Hopefully a friend who loves and accepts you as you are.  Hopefully someone who can truly listen and not rush in to try and fix it or Bible-verse it away or slap a smiley face on it..

You need to share with someone the depths of your emotional pain.  There’s something about bringing that pain out into the light of a loving relationship that doesn’t necessarily take it away but makes it something you are more capable of digesting and enduring.  Deep emotional pain is like an elephant.  How do you eat an elephant?  It’s similar with emotional pain.  You’re probably not going to just pop out of it instantly.  Telling someone will take some of the edge off the pain and provide a little relief so you can keep moving through it.  This is critical when you are in deep emotional pain.  The care, concern, understanding, empathy, support, love and listening ear of another will help you put a little bit of distance between you and your pain.  At first, you can’t separate yourself from your pain.  By sharing it with someone else. it sort of becomes a “thing” to work through.  It’s not “you,” it’s more of a “thing” that you are experiencing and dealing with.

By Jim Palmer, author of Divine Nobodies

Stay tuned for Part 3…

This is a great article by Jim Palmer of  Divine Nobodies .  A friend sent it to me, so I don’t know if it was on his blog or in a devotional, but it means a lot to me and I wanted to share it.  He breaks the things he learned down into  six items, and I will share each of these with you individually.

“Things I’ve learned in my emotional pain”    by Jim Palmer

By far this has been the most painful year of my life.  Heartache, loss, depression, loneliness, rejection, separation, despair, 2 near-death experiences and emotional pain so deep that it felt like I was going to die and hoped I would.  There were days I wondered if I was going to make it, felt hopeles,s and doubted if life could ever be good again.  I learned a few things about emotional pain in the process.

Here are six things to consider when in deep emotional pain:

1.  You are making it more real than it really is.

When in deep or catastrophic emotional pain, be aware that what you feel isn’t entirely real. Your emotional pain will sometimes tell you things that are not true, and prevent you from seeing aspect of the bigger picture from which you could draw hope.  This times I have been in deep emotional pain it felt like I was going to literally die or that I wanted to die.  It felt as if nothing else existed other than the unbearable anguish of my emotional pain.  I couldn’t imagine anything beyond the depth of my pain in that moment, and it felt like I was going to be swallowed whole by it.  I couldn’t conceive of surviving the pain and it felt like it would never end.

The fact that I am writing this post means that my emotional pain didn’t kill me.  Typically, emotional pain doesn’t kill people.  I survived to see another day.  The emotional pain subsided.  Sure, it came back.  But then it also subsided again.  You can’t really trust the depth of despair you often feel in deep emotional pain.  What it feels like doesn’ t really line up with reality.  So, just keep that in mind.  It won’t kill you.  It is not permanent.  There is something worth embracing and living outside your pain even though you are entirely blinded by it in the moment.

I Am Too Much…

September 25, 2012

I laugh too loudly.  I care too much.  I cry too easily.  I worry a lot.  I over think things. I ask too many questions.  I am too nice.  I  yell too much at sporting events. LOUDLY. I let too many things bother me.  I love too much.

I am who I am and have spent too much of my life apologizing for being “too much.”

Deal with it…or don’t.

Changing Seasons…

September 3, 2012


It’s September again! I can hardly believe so much time has gone by!  My daughter is packed and gone for her sophomore year at school, and tonight is my sons’ last night of “freedom” before starting his sophomore year in high school.  This always seems like more of a time to make resolutions than New Years for me.

My son and I have made some resolutions – to try more new things, one of them being food.  No more same old, same old for us all the time.  At least once a week I’m actually going to COOK one of those hundreds of recipes I’ve pinned on Pinterest!

I’m going to start blogging again, and I’m going to put more time into my jewelry business again.  The new position I got at work came with much more hours and stress and my well ran dry creatively.  I don’t like living this way however, and I miss creating so much!  I need to find my artistic side again…

I need my friends more.  I have been so tired I haven’t made time to be social.  That needs to change.  My friends are the best and have been there for me through thick and thin.  Housework can wait. There will always be bills to pay.  I need my friends NOW.

I was recently in the hospital and was very sick.  I was very fortunate to have gotten good news from the myriad of tests they performed on me.  But it could so easily have gone the other way and changed my life forever.  I am grateful and thankful and soooo blessed and I need to remember that more and thank God for my life every day.

Changing seasons…changing life a little every day.


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