Things I’ve Learned in My Emotional Pain #4…

This is a great article by Jim Palmer of  Divine Nobodies .  A friend sent it to me, so I don’t know if it was on his blog or in a devotional, but it means a lot to me and I wanted to share it.  He breaks the things he learned down into six items, and I am sharing each of these with you individually.

Be Patient and Understand the Way Things Are

Eradicating all emotional pain from your life is not realistic.  Sorry.  It’s just part of it.  You signed up for being a human.  To be human is to experience deep emotional pain.  Hate to tell you.  The emotional pain will be back.  It may even be back ten minutes after you feel you moved through it.  Part of the reason is also that you have been conditioned to respond to life the way you do, which  leads to deep emotional pain.  That’s not going to change overnight.  It’s going to take time and a lot of conscious effort on your part to process life differently and to deal with deep emotional pain.

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Things I’ve Learned in My Emotional Pain #3

This is a great article by Jim Palmer of  Divine Nobodies .  A friend sent it to me, so I don’t know if it was on his blog or in a devotional, but it means a lot to me and I wanted to share it.  He breaks the things he learned down into six items, and I am sharing each of these with you individually.

Don’t Look For a Solution in the Big Picture

Will I ever get through this?  Can I ever be happy again?  Will my life ever be better?  Is there any hope for me?  Is there a purpose?  Am I ever going to have the kind of life I desire?  Is it too late for me?  Am I too far gone?  Are things going to work out for me and my life?  What’s the future look like for me?  Etc.  Don’t look for a solution by searching for answers to these larger-than-life questions.  It’s torment.  The truth is that none of those questions can really be answered, and your emotional pain is likely to feed you negative answers to all the questions.  Don’t try to solve your present emotional pain by analyzing the possibilities of or lack thereof when it comes to how your life works out as a whole.

Forget about it!  Let it go.  Just do the next thing.  Life will resume.  Things will happen.  Good things will happen.  They may be small and simple things, but good nonetheless.  Maybe you have previously discounted these simple joys.   Don’t.  Ultimately, the satisfaction and fulfilment of your life is going to arise and flow out of your daily life and living…one hour at a time.  If you let yourself, you may let go of all the other questions entirely and find that fulfilment comes through simply showing up each moment to live and embrace the life that you have.  Seriously, what needs to change in order for you to be happy?  All the ingredients are already built into the everyday paths of your life.  Just live your life in the here and now and present moment.

It’s going to take a while but eventually a few things are going to dawn on you about your emotional pain.  Here are a few:

• My emotional pain won’t really kill me
• My emotional pain is not permanent and will go away
• There are things I can do, ways I can respond, choices that I am capable of making to help me through my emotional pain
• Everyone has deep emotional pain like I do.  I’m not a big loser because I feel this pain.
•  People aren’t going to hate me or write me off if I share my emotional pain

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.:” Proverbs 3:5-6

Different Blessings…

Dear God,

This is hard.  It’s hard to be so much in need all the time.  It’s hard to see others with so much and have to continually battle envy.  It’s hard not to resent the “haves” and not cry about being a “have not.”

But then I stop.

I’m not a “have not,” I’m a “have less” with different blessings.  I have 2 children I love and who love me.  I have many REAL friends.  I have a great family, and I have had your presence to sustain me, Lord.

Help me to want less, Lord.

Help me to envy less and thank you more.

Help me to worry less about what I “have not” and be truly grateful for what I have.

Amen…

 

Back to the Garden…

I thought I had lost it forever. 

When I had to leave my home during my divorce, I left behind extensive gardens that I had been working on for more than 10 years.  Gardening was my passion, my creative outlet, my therapy. 

Then I had to leave it, and it was devastating.  I left that house in December, so in Wisconsin that means it wasn’t able to be dug up, and I was moving into a rental, anyway.  I felt the loss of my gardens keenly, and it hurt so much I stopped looking at gardens and landscaping, magazines and catalogs – all of it.  I thought the passion had died.

Last year my Dad tilled up the space between the two porches of my duplex.  I got a few plants “gifted” from friends gardens, and it made me happy.

This year?  The plants have  already been dug up and moved  around; I’ve bought new ones, divided some, potted several pots and baskets and am frustrated that I don’t have room for more!

It’s back.  The passion for gardening is flowing back through me and making me happy again.  It hadn’t died, it had just been pushed down while I dealt with all my other losses.  Now I know there will be other gardens in my life and that love will always be there when you are ready for it to blossom again.

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What Forgiveness Looks Like…

I thought forgiveness meant that I wouldn’t feel the hurt anymore.  I thought it meant the pain would be gone.  It thought that letting go meant that the negative feelings wouldn’t come back to haunt me, or that I wouldn’t feel that choking anger anymore.  I thought everything would get easier once I forgave.

 I begged God to help me let it go once-and-for-all.  I wanted the pain to be done, the memories to be purged, the anger to stop.

I thought there was something wrong with me because forgiving wasn’t working.  I didn’t know what forgiveness looked like.  I kept asking, praying and searching for it, but apparently I was just supposed to do it.  People would tell me, “well, you just have to forgive.”  I kept asking ‘what does forgiveness look like?”  Being very visual, I guess I needed someone to draw me a picture.

 I kept asking God to help me to let it go and to forgive.  When I would get upset again, or the bad feelings would claw at me I would think “well, I guess I never forgave like I thought I had.” 

 Thanks to Mark Gungor at Celebration Church in Green Bay, WI for his blog post entitled “What Is Forgiveness?”  I got the picture drawn for me at last.  It was the answer I had been looking for when I asked the question all this time.  The anger coming back didn’t mean I hadn’t forgiven!  The sadness threatening me didn’t mean I hadn’t forgiven!  Of course I was going to get mad all over again over new transgressions – it didn’t mean I hadn’t forgiven – it just meant that I needed to forgive again.  Mark gave me the action plan toward forgiveness that I needed. 

Forgiveness is now an actionable plan for me.  It is a plan to give the pain to God every time it comes to me.  It is a plan to hand over every negative thought when it comes to me. 

 Forgiveness doesn’t always just divinely come over us one day

and the pain will be gone.

A lot of the time it takes more work.

I have to keep forgiving.  As many times a day as those hurtful transgressions come back into my mind they have to be given up to God.  And again.  And again.  And again.  

Just like God forgives me.  Again.  And again.  And again.

 

Awed and Amazed

Do you ever just marvel at your children?  Do you ever just wonder what part you might have had in assisting God to create such incredible people?  Are you ever awed at their gifts?  Their passions?  Their individuality?

I am regularly in the position of being awed and amazed at one of my children.  Here’s my reason tonight on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrILtIN17Mc

This is my 13 -year-old son.  His talent impresses me and his faith inspires me.  I had to share.

Nativity Art Exhibit…

Nativity Art Exhibit

Sponsored by Menominee Area Arts Council

Saturday, December 4, 10 am – 4 pm

First Presbyterian Church, corner of 10th Ave & 5th Street, Menominee, MI

Advent season display of nativities (creche) from around the world.  Hands on art activities for the young and young at heart.  Seasonal music by local musicians.  Christmas books and refreshments.

And this year, Sweet Annie’s Jewelry will be displaying her Christian line of jewelry at the Nativity Exhibit!  I have done Salvation Jewelry, Twenty-third Psalm Jewelry and more for years, but I have been inspired to create some new designs for this year, plus I’m going to feature some beautiful Nativity Sterling Silver Charms will a Swarovski Crystal accent as a keepsake.

It promises to be an uplifting and inspiring day…join us if you can!

Blessings All Around Me…

Recently I was lying on a fabulous down comforter on a bed in a Hilton hotel room in Minneapolis, soaking up the cool air conditioning and luxurious surroundings , pondering my life.  A year ago I was hauling cases of beer out to customers’ cars while in college and now I’m staying in great hotels on all-expenses-paid business trips in an industry I’ve always been fascinated with.  I am awed and overwhelmed with my continued blessings.  What changes a year makes!

A year ago I was afraid I wasn’t going to find a job to support myself and the kids.  My worry was off the charts.  Now I go to work every day thankful and happy with my lot in life.  I love to give this job all I have not only because I’m thankful but I truly find it exciting and challenging and downright fun some of the time.  I am so truly blessed to have all that I have.

I am glad that the memories of a year ago are still so fresh in my mind and that I can continue to be so thankful.  The job at the liquor store was essential for us to survive while I went to school, and I am grateful to the owners for their help and understanding.  It was a great people place.  But now I work with people in an industry that has always been a fascination to me, I love the job and I am experiencing so many new things.  I am growing and changing and it’s such a good thing.

Growth hurts.  Change can hurt.  But it can also bring about new experiences that never would have happened without the pain.  I have hurt, but I have grown.

Tale of the Two Wolves…

 

This is timeless wisdom that got forwarded to me today and I had to share.

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

It really makes me think about which one I feed…I must be more deliberate in choosing which wolf I feed.

Thought For the Day #2

You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand…

Irene C. Kassorla