My Mother and My Jewelry…

February 19, 2011

 

Ever since I was a young girl, I have been fascinated by jewelry.  I spent hours with my mothers’ jewelry box, examining and trying on every piece of jewelry in her box. I would wear my mothers’ jewelry whenever I got the chance.  In fact, I was wearing her class ring one day when my friends invited me to the beach. I forgot I had the ring on, but when I came home it was no longer there.  It was so hard to look at my Mom and tell her I had lost the ring.  We went back to the beach and searched and searched but the ring was never found.  I know she was disappointed in me and in the loss of her ring, and I am still disappointed in myself.

 The only time I ever remember being punished by my parents revolves around my kleptomaniac tendencies with my mothers’ accessories.  I was in my room playing, wearing my mothers’ watch.  I was oblivious to the commotion in the other room, but apparently there was quite a search going on for the watch.  Was my Dad ever mad when he found out I was wearing it without asking because my Mom had been so worried.  I went without supper that night for the only time in memory. 

 I think that’s when I decided to start collecting my own jewelry.

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Superwoman was not a mother. ..

Superwoman wasn’t a single mother trying to do it all. ..

Superwoman wasn’t middle-aged!!

I still have a bad habit of comparing myself to others.  I spent this past weekend at my brother and sister-in-laws house, and it is SO clean and organized.  I came home depressed because I know for sure my home will never look like that.  Several of my friends can’t relax until their homes are clean.  For some reason, I don’t have that problem!

Is it a cleaning gene that I’m lacking?  Do I have too many things on my plate?  I know that I try to do too much at every given moment and that my housework suffers.  But what is the answer?  Should I do less so I can clean more?

I heard a saying once that said “Home should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy” and I guess I”m just going to have to content myself with that.  I am too old to totally change now.  I will never strive for the cleanest house on the block.  I have no problem watching American Idol with the kids instead of cleaning.  I look forward to sleeping in on my day off instead of getting my house clean.   Give me a good book and the dust can settle around me!

So maybe I’m setting a bad example.  But my kids will have to discover whether or not they carry the cleaning gene.  Until then I will have to settle for a home that is clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy!

I Am Not Superwoman!

May 14, 2009

super-woman

I have given up the battle to be Superwoman.  I am a single mother, a jewelry artist, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an employee, a Christian, a neighbor, a teacher and a million other titles that suck up my time and energy.  One thing I am not is a superwoman.  I don’t even want to try to be one.

We already do enough.  We do too much.  We all feel inadequate because most of the time we can’t get everything done.  So I cannot feel guilty for not doing even more.  I can’t handle it all – so sue me.  My house is a mess half the time and I have paperwork in stacks…oh, well!  My mom had a plaque on the wall in our kitchen that said “So this isn’t Home Sweet Home – ADJUST!”  I have that plaque now and I love it.  It wasn’t that there wasn’t tons of love and tons of fun and tons of hard work, because there was.  What there wasn’t was that sense that everything had to be in its place OR ELSE. We lived in that house and we were comfortable there.  I now have that kind of house, too.  We live here and it’s never going to be perfect.

I will never be the woman who is put together, calm and self-assured.  I’m the one running in sweating and frazzled.  I’m the one with the never-ending to-do list.  I will nearly always have a basket of clean laundry to be folded in my living room.  But this is me, and this is my life.  It’s the best that I can do, and that must be enough.  I don’t have fancy bullet deflecting cuffs, but I dodge bullets every day.

Superwoman’s bustier looks really uncomfortable anyway.

Where does the time go?

August 23, 2008

I can’t believe the summer is almost over.  I was overly ambitious with my class load, and I have barely had time to do anything this summer…even making jewelry.  I keep telling myself it’s a season of my life and it will all be worth it, but when I see the days slipping away and another school year ready to begin, I get a little melancholy.  Another summer has gone by and the kids and I didn’t take that vacation to Mackinac Island…another summer and we didn’t spend any lazy days at the beach…didn’t look for beach glass…on and on the list goes.

How can I squeeze some creative time into my wild life?  I won’t give up my time with my kids.  They are growing up just too fast.  And they still want me around…so while that’s going on I’m going to be there.  I know I need to use my weekends when they’re with their father better.  I tend to sit around and feel sorry for myself.  Maybe I need to look at those as creative retreats instead of dreading them. 

I don’t know if I can, but I’m going to try.  Because I am an artist, and being creative is essential to my mental health.  I will be a better mother and a better person if I can indulge that side of myself.

I’m not doing a good job at being more organized, but I’m hoping I can make this work…we’ll have to wait and see.

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