What I Will Miss…

April 12, 2011

from Glamour Magazine

While I am unexpectedly excited about being downsized recently, I feel like I have to acknowledge how much this job has meant to me.

 First of all, it was my first job after earning my Bachelor’s Degree at 46 years old.  It was a huge boost of confidence to know that I could survive – and thrive – in the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom for 15 years.  I loved my cubicle, my co-workers and my work…it was fulfilling and exciting and I will always be grateful for the opportunity.  It gave me a ton of self-esteem I was lacking, and the knowledge that I could care for my children and support us was empowering.

 Secondly, I will miss working in a field I have always loved.  From the first time I could remember, I was set on being a beautician when I grew up.  The desire to do hair was pushed down for many years, but at 23 years of age I decided to go to Cosmetology School.  I didn’t stay in the industry long, but I have a lifelong love of anything to do with hair and beauty, so working within that industry and putting my knowledge to work was pure joy.

 Third, I will miss the freebies.  As a marketing professional in the beauty products industry, I was given a lot of product to try in order to better market them.  I have had a chance to sample so many great products and add many to my daily must-haves.  To me these were like gold, and I loved being the aunt who gave the awesome beauty bags at Christmas and birthdays! I loved being on the cutting edge of new products and introducing them to the salons.

 So as I bid goodbye to this career, I am sad for some of the things I am losing.  But I really am not losing anything – I learned a lot and I will take those lessons with me wherever I go from here. 

The samples will be sadly missed though…

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The Security Myth…

March 10, 2011

 

On January 26, 2011 I received notice that my job was being eliminated along with 74 others.  I had just been downsized.

At first I panicked, which is a normal reaction.  I am a single mom, after all.  What was I going to do?  How was I going to support my family?  What would become of us all in this depressed economy?  For the first week I cried, I prayed, I had massive anxiety issues.  I couldn’t sleep.

Panic is my nature.  Worry is, too.  I am highly emotional, and by my nature I go to these places when things happen.  Then I get very “busy.”  Which I did by going to the local job center and getting paperwork and information going before they even had a chance to schedule anything for all of us at my workplace.  I signed up for a class on Shipbuilding. I had my resume finished and my Linked-In profile updated and started stockpiling toilet paper on sale.

 Then the most amazing thing happened.  While down with a migraine, I had hours on end to think.  I allowed my brain to wander, and it did something that surprised me…it opened up to possibilities.  I started to dream again. I asked myself “what if?”  And it was SO EXCITING! 

In the aftermath of my divorce, I gave up the dreams I had in order to provide for my family.  I was too busy seeking some form of security from the outside world to dream anymore.  I needed a salary.  Benefits.  Stability.  Security.

 But guess what?  For a while I had the salary, benefits, stability, and what I thought was security.  But it really wasn’t security, because I had no way of knowing my company would be sold.  So it was a false security that I bought into for awhile.  Realizing this was a real a-ha! moment for me.  There is no such thing as earthly security! 

 Wow – what a revelation that was to me, and how freeing it was!  It opened the floodgates to ideas and dreams and plans that have obviously been stuffed down inside of me for far too long, things I’d given up on because they didn’t offer the security I thought I needed.

Why was I so willing to look for security in strangers instead of in myself?  Who has more at stake than me to provide for me and my family?  I know my responsibilities and the capabilities I have…who better to trust my children and myself to?

So I’m going to trust in myself and go with my dreams.  I don’t know what the future holds or how things will work out.  But I do trust God, and I know He put these dreams inside of me for a reason.  He will work with me and through me.  I have a chance to finally live the life I want to live, on my terms, in my own way.  What I thought was a disaster could be the biggest opportunity of my life.

 I’m putting my money on me.

Image from http://www.colectiva.tv/wordpress/lang/en-us/2008/08/
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